Getting Support

One of the most important factors when healing from a loss is having support from others.  Some individuals find themselves uncomfortable when it comes to talking about their feeling but it is essential to express feelings during the grief process.  Communicating and sharing a loss tends to make the weight of the burden easier to carry.  Being willing and open to accept the support of others rather than grieving alone while connecting with others will ultimately aid in the healing process.

Where to find support

• Friends and family – During the time of grief and healing it is imperative for the grieving to lean on the individuals they are closest to.  Even the strongest and most independent people will find that drawing friends and loves ones closer during a loss can be a great relief.  Keep in mind that people want to help but often don’t know how or what to offer, so being able to communicate one’s needs is very helpful.  Asking for assistance with arrangements or simply asking to sit down and talk are ways to lighten the often overwhelming burden of grief.
• Faith and beliefs – If faith plays a part in an individual’ s life, drawing comfort from one’s beliefs and traditions can be soothing during the grief process.  Spiritual practices such as prayer, meditation, attending church services and participating in gatherings and events can offer comfort and consolation.  Grief and loss can also cause an individual to have questions and confusion regarding their faiths and beliefs.  Reaching out to clergy and others in a community for clarification and support with these issues is important and will assist with the healing process.
• Groups – The grieving process can be overwhelming and lonely at times.  Expressing loss and pain with others who are currently or have experienced similar feeling can be beneficial.  When looking for group offerings it is helpful to inquire with local churches, hospitals, health care programs and counseling services.
• Therapy – Sometimes grief and loss can become too much for an individual to work through alone and everyday life can be negatively impacted.  Mental health care professionals such as therapists and grief counselors offer their services to help their clients work through their pain and overcome the obstacles that grief and loss has presented in their lives.

“To spare oneself from grief at all cost can be achieved only at the price of total detachment, which excludes the ability to experience happiness.” – Erich Fromm

When Grief Lingers

It is normal to feel hurt, sadness, or anger following a loss.  But as time goes on, these emotions and others relative to a loss should begin to subside and have less intensity as one moves on with life.  However, if an individual does not feel better over time, or if the grief gets worse, it may be the sign that a more serious problem has developed.   Talking to a mental health professional right away about the inability to heal and move on from a loss is very important.  Left untreated,  unresolved grief can lead to significant emotional difficulty such as depression, life-threatening health problems, and even suicide.

It is important to emphasize that the grief process is not a set pattern, but is more often experienced in cycles.  Grief is sometimes compared to climbing a spiral staircase where things look and feel like you are just going to circles, yet you are actually making  progress.  Being patient with the process and allowing yourself to have any feelings about the loss can help.  If you feel stuck in your grief, talking to a professional may help you move forward in the healing process.  Do not be afraid to reach out for support. 

Be well.