by Mary Ellen Graybill

Gandhi’s quote, “Be the change you wish to see in the world” is the takeaway thought of the community forum on bullying and cyberbullying held on Tuesday, September 25 – a crisp autumn evening – at the Columbia Jr./Sr. High School auditorium. Between 35 to 50 citizens assembled to learn about “bullying” from six presenters; the presence of school and borough personnel added to the total number in attendance.

Panelists, left to right: Mayor of Columbia, Leo S. Lutz; Amy Marenick; Columbia Police Department Chief Jack Brommer; Assistant District Attorney Rebecca Franz; Columbia Borough School District assistant superintendant, Dr. Diane Frey and seminar presenter, Stephanie Roy. – Photo by Mary Ellen Graybill  

Stephanie Roy, a program director with Compass Mark, a non-profit organization conducted the forum before the attentive audience scattered throughout the Columbia High School’s spacious auditorium. Six panelists included the mayor of Columbia, Leo S. Lutz; assistant superintendent of Columbia Borough School District and principal of Taylor Elementary School, Dr. Diane Frey; Columbia Borough police chief, Jack Brommer; Lancaster County Assistant District Attorney, Rebecca Franz and Amy Marenick, a therapist who addressed issues from the current situation to what could be done in the future.

Lutz is a member of the Board of Directors of Compass Mark.

According to a program from a 2011 Pennsylvania Association of Student Assistance conference agenda, “Marenick is currently the Student Assistance Program Facilitator at the School District of Lancaster. She has been a Licensed Counselor in Ohio, South Carolina and Pennsylvania for nearly 20 years. Her previous experiences have included teaching middle school, being the clinical director of a detox unit, the director of a dual diagnosis treatment center and private practice.” She is a Columbia area resident.

While recognizing there is no law against bullying, Chief Brommer admitted that his department is very concerned. ADA Franz advised that her hands are tied if she doesn’t have paperwork in the case of cyberbullying. Marenick educated the audience about the fact that the bully has high self-esteem and actually does it for power.

Lutz asked “Where do we go from here?”

Lutz added, “We need to create an atmosphere where children are free and not afraid to walk the streets.” He emphasized the need to “stamp out” the problem before it starts. He was inspired that the meeting brought together different community groups from Lancaster and Columbia including the Boys and Girls Club of Lancaster, Boy Scouts/Girl Scouts, churches, the facilitators from Compass Mark and the school’s own program directors and others.

These were the topics and definitions that four small groups took to discuss: (two groups convened to the library and two to the back of the auditorium)

Bullying and cyberbullying… what is it?

Stephanie Roy – photo by Mary Ellen Graybill

It is aggressive, physical verbal or nonverbal and involves an imbalance of power and also repeats itself over and over. “It has to have a pattern,” said Roy.

Technology has brought a new form of bullying with computer usage by many people on line, cell phones and gaming devices (Xbox 360 etc.).

Found in the parking lot:  Anti-bullying magnetized checklist from Compass Mark

WHAT TO DO: (for cyberbullying)

Don’t respond in kind. Save any cyber evidence. Keep records.

• Instruct youth to discuss the situation with an adult
• (Maybe) Notify Police.
• Contact the host of the technology
• Contact school officials.

Physical and verbal bullying prevention tip: “Do something” … even write a letter- but don’t consider bullying back!

If your child bullies:

1. Discuss it.
2. Have rules and what will happen if the child bullies.
3. Listen to the story.
4. Help the child connect with peers in a healthier way- sports, etc.
5. Demonstrate good behavior at home.

To get bullying to stop, it is highly recommended to “nip it in the bud.” According to Roy, the least helpful method is to fight back, get even, or even tell the person to stop, and worse: doing nothing. The bully actually enjoys the power of the activity and these methods don’t work to stop it.

Parents were advised not to use mediation at first … it doesn’t work…but only later… and not to demand an apology.

Carrie McGough enjoys being a facilitator for the nonprofit organization Compass Mark.

Other topics for discussion were “What is an individual’s moral and ethical responsibility as a bystander when witnessing bullying?  And, “How can adults better equip children to be proactive when they witness bullying and not engage in bullying behavior themselves?

And “What are some next steps?” “What are the limitations of schools and law enforcement in terms of bullying prevention?”

Groups of parents and others discussed possible answers, then panelists presented brief summaries of their views. It remains to be seen what more can be done, how the stress levels can be reduced that might prevent bullying.

Several participants in the small groups expressed the need for getting at the root cause of bullying which is stress – popular media emphasizing bad behavior, and home life where parents are absent due to economic issues, working two jobs, etc.

Brian T. Schell, Assistant Principal of Columbia Jr/Sr High School, musician and former English teacher, said he hopes to bring in more speakers for school assemblies, to add humor to the discussion to reach the students.

The group discussions provided people a chance to express their frustration with the situation. The panel discussion gave officials a chance to answer some questions from the audience.

As someone said at the end of the forum: “This is the beginning of something!”