OPINION

You’ve heard people say it. “In a perfect world,” they begin, “things would be different.”

This is the first installment of some things we would like to see different in the search for a perfect world.

Comcast would be “fantastic” rather than “Comcastic!” 

True story. A week or so ago, we began to experience sputtering with our Internet. The Internet connection would quit; a re-start of the computer and a re-start (you know the drill: disconnect the modem and the power cord, wait 20 or so seconds and restart, yadda, yadda …) generated no consistent connectivity.

So we dialed the number – 1-800-comcast – to be greeted by the monotonous greeting of push 1, push 2, etc. When we finally got to talk with a real person, we think, it was Rick with a pronounced accent. We asked Rick to speak slower so we could understand him better. We asked Rick if there were line outages or difficulties in our area, Rick assured us there were not and he wanted to ask me a few questions.

The questions, of course, were the ones that popped up on his screen. Rick needed to “verify” a few things. After reciting our billing address, and other qualifiers, Rick went on to tell us that he was running a diagnostic on my equipment. (Imagine that, he had the wherewithal to run diagnostics, yet he had to grill us on my address, etc.)

So, Rick comes back with, “Your modem is not working.”

We said, “Rick, are you sure.”

He assured us that the modem was not working and that he could tell that my modem was not a Comcast modem. We concurred; it was not. When we bought and installed the modem eight or so years ago, the Comcast rep suggested we purchase the modem … the modem that Comcast uses, in fact.

Again, we asked, “Rick are you sure?”

He answered it was the modem, but he could have someone come out in two days to check the wires, etc.

“Two days,” we yelped. “Rick, this is 2014, Internet connectivity is almost a utility.” Again, we silently wished Pennsylvania would consider Internet connectivity what it is: a utility.

We said, “Rick, that won’t do.”

Since the modem was older, we reasoned it could, indeed, be a modem issue. We thanked Rick and hung up … frustrated and angry.

We shut the computer down and went for a walk.

Later in the evening, we turned everything back on. And no modem lights.

OK, we reasoned, maybe we have to break down and upgrade to a new modem. We drove to Best Buy and forked out $85 some dollars for a new “Comcast”-favored modem.

We drove back and went about installing the new modem; still no lights. So we did what the info in the box directed us to do: call our Internet provider for assistance.

Feeling we were on a resolution path, we again dialed 1.800.comcast. Who knows, maybe Rick’s still there?

Instead, the automated menu gave us an audio message that said, “We are experiencing line difficulties in your area. We anticipate the problem will be resolved by 11:00.”

Aha, so the “Comcastic” Internet provider was having issues with their lines. And their guy, Rick, had lied to us.

A while later, we reinstalled the old modem and, miraculously, all the lights came on; we powered up the computer and had Internet connectivity.

So, because of Rick’s BS, we had to waste gas driving to Best Buy to buy a modem; we had to buy a modem and we had to waste our own time.

Best Buy, which does have pretty fantastic real-life people and fantastic service accommodated us by letting us return the modem for a refund. Wonder whether Comcast will reimburse us or any of its Customers for the fairly regular service problems it has? Doubt it. After all, Comcast was again voted “Worst Company in America for 2014.”

Now, damn, ain’t that just Comcastic?