Weather alert | “Today and tonight. Severe thunderstorms with damaging winds 60 mph or greater and large hail exceeding 1 inch in diameter are possible this evening and overnight. An isolated weak, short-lived tornado is also possible. Heavy rain in thunderstorms may lead to isolated instances of flooding.”

Huh? | We’re having a tough time understanding this LNP – Always Lancaster POLICE LOG report: “MANHEIM TWP.: A Terrace Drive resident told police this month that he’d been sending monthly payments of $1,000 to individuals he believed were associated with the U.S. Department of Housing and Urban Development since August 2019, police said. The scam cost him $25,000 to $30,000, police said.” Firstly, August 2019 hasn’t happened yet!

There’s more about SCAMS from the U.S. Department of Housing and Urban Development here.

TMI closure | Corporate welfare? These are the OPINION columns in today’s LNP – Always Lancaster:

• Nuclear bailout would hurt low-income citizens

• The value of nuclear power in Pennsylvania

• TMI closure would devastate community (opinion)

OPINION | Rather this is an anonymous comment from a Lancaster Independent Press (LIPNews) post:

“If you are Stedman and you need a new car just steal from the citizens of this county. If you need pocket change just submit fake expenses and wait to be reimbursed. If some questions you threaten them. If you are Scott Martin or his family you can commit murder, use and possess illegal drugs and get a ride home without a single charge against you. It is nice to see the New Yorker, Washington Post and other large news outlets start to report on the corruption in Lancaster county. Maybe LNP will continue there work and not be pressured by the politicians and we can then renew our subscription.”

Not real news | Being Able To Laugh At Yourself Is Crucial To A Happy Life and the People of Lancaster Website (and facebook page) provides ample opportunity for pointed laughing opportunities for Lancaster Countians (Columbians, too).

Satire, it’s nothing new … | Long Live Satire